1 00:00:15,910 --> 00:00:17,050 It's a picture, dude. 2 00:00:17,310 --> 00:00:18,310 I'm trying. 3 00:00:20,870 --> 00:00:23,390 Come on, dude. We're missing it. 4 00:00:48,330 --> 00:00:50,570 Hey, butthead, the TV's out of focus. 5 00:00:51,270 --> 00:00:54,090 Focus. Focus, asswipe. 6 00:00:55,410 --> 00:00:57,270 What's Bono's problem? 7 00:00:58,050 --> 00:01:00,150 Yeah, what's Bono's problem? 8 00:01:02,710 --> 00:01:04,430 Black and white suck. 9 00:01:07,190 --> 00:01:09,930 Whoa, that's a big dog. 10 00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:12,210 That's a buffalo, dumbass. 11 00:01:13,430 --> 00:01:15,830 They should shoot it. 12 00:01:16,620 --> 00:01:18,580 That would be cool. 13 00:01:18,840 --> 00:01:22,200 Yeah. Like that movie Dancing with Wolves? 14 00:01:34,380 --> 00:01:35,380 Oni. 15 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:38,040 Weenie. 16 00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:39,620 Oni. 17 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:41,240 Oni. 18 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:43,120 Oni. 19 00:01:45,070 --> 00:01:46,610 Is this like a quiz? 20 00:01:47,570 --> 00:01:48,930 This is like school. 21 00:01:51,310 --> 00:01:53,590 Push a little baby to make him come up! 22 00:01:53,790 --> 00:01:56,010 Push a little baby to make him come up! 23 00:01:58,170 --> 00:02:00,710 That's not funny, dumbass. 24 00:02:05,650 --> 00:02:06,790 Is this art? 25 00:02:09,009 --> 00:02:10,470 This means something. 26 00:02:11,630 --> 00:02:14,740 Yeah. It means something stupid. 27 00:02:31,820 --> 00:02:33,620 Joey Buttafuoco. 28 00:02:35,920 --> 00:02:38,020 He said Buttafuoco. 29 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,540 He'd be there. 30 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:43,400 What do you think, what's a fuko mean? 31 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:51,840 He said fast door. 32 00:02:57,440 --> 00:02:59,680 Dude looks like a lady. 33 00:03:05,420 --> 00:03:08,400 This is the coolest video I've ever seen in my life. 34 00:03:40,850 --> 00:03:43,330 I thought you were Daddy's little cutie. 35 00:03:44,230 --> 00:03:45,690 Shut up, bunghole! 36 00:03:49,130 --> 00:03:50,130 Yes! 37 00:04:00,250 --> 00:04:01,250 Check it out. 38 00:04:03,930 --> 00:04:04,930 She's pissed. 39 00:04:05,670 --> 00:04:06,810 She hates him. 40 00:04:18,060 --> 00:04:20,579 Everybody thinks babies are cute. Cute. 41 00:04:21,180 --> 00:04:24,620 Well, they are not so damn cute when they are yours, I'll tell you that right 42 00:04:24,620 --> 00:04:29,640 now. Crapping and puking all over you. They cost a damn fortune to feed and 43 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:33,200 clothe, and all they end up doing is making you miserable like you people are 44 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:34,680 doing to your parents right now. 45 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:38,980 It's time that you teen pregnancy candidates learned a thing or two about 46 00:04:38,980 --> 00:04:39,980 responsibility. 47 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:43,020 Does anybody know what this is? 48 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:45,840 Half his wife's butt. 49 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:53,820 It is a baby, and everybody is getting one. I have divided the class into male 50 00:04:53,820 --> 00:04:58,500 -female pairs, and every couple gets one of these for a week of nurturing and 51 00:04:58,500 --> 00:04:59,500 cooperation. 52 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:04,260 Everywhere you go, you take it with you. If you cannot take it with you, you 53 00:05:04,260 --> 00:05:06,680 arrange for a sitter. Is that clear? 54 00:05:07,180 --> 00:05:08,180 Uh, Mr. 55 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:09,780 Buzzcutt. Mr. 56 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:11,160 Buzzcutt. 57 00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:14,480 Yes, butthead. I can't do the assignment. 58 00:05:15,020 --> 00:05:16,040 I'm dietetic. 59 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:22,320 I'm sure you mean diabetic, butthead. 60 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:24,480 And you will do this assignment. 61 00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:29,760 Each couple keeps a journal of its activities with the baby. Any gaps, you 62 00:05:30,060 --> 00:05:31,680 Any mistakes, you fail. 63 00:05:32,020 --> 00:05:34,520 Any damage to the baby, you fail. 64 00:05:34,860 --> 00:05:40,000 And if you fail this project, you fail the course, because having a child is a 65 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,900 pass -fail situation, people. 66 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:46,520 There's the list of partners. Find yours and get a baby. Is that clear? 67 00:05:48,580 --> 00:05:53,220 Hey, it says my partner's butthead. Yes, I am making an exception in your case. 68 00:05:53,540 --> 00:05:54,540 All right. 69 00:05:56,260 --> 00:06:01,500 Every girl in the class asked me privately not to be paired with either 70 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:03,700 So I thought this was the best solution. 71 00:06:04,340 --> 00:06:09,080 Besides... With homosexual couples increasingly adopting babies, this will 72 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:11,040 our simulation even more realistic. 73 00:06:11,700 --> 00:06:13,780 Do you find that amusing, butthead? 74 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:19,720 One week from today, we all meet back here with our sugar babies and our 75 00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:21,060 journals. Is that clear? 76 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,220 Good luck and good parenting, people. 77 00:06:27,540 --> 00:06:31,200 I don't know how to take care of a baby. What do you do? 78 00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:33,560 Hey, let's give it a bath. 79 00:06:37,969 --> 00:06:41,250 I'm going to slap you around like a red -headed stepchild. 80 00:06:45,190 --> 00:06:46,190 Uh -oh. 81 00:06:47,110 --> 00:06:48,510 You drowned it, dude. 82 00:06:49,870 --> 00:06:52,010 I'll never get to see it grow up. 83 00:07:04,670 --> 00:07:05,670 Aerobic thought. 84 00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:13,350 What the hell is this crap? 85 00:07:20,990 --> 00:07:27,690 It's curly from the three stooges. 86 00:07:30,170 --> 00:07:31,170 Hey, 87 00:07:32,310 --> 00:07:33,880 Beavis. Check this out. 88 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:38,260 He's heading back from somewhere that he never should have been. 89 00:07:39,420 --> 00:07:40,900 He looks like a zombie. 90 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:42,840 Thunder Road. 91 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,000 Thunder Road. Thunder Road. 92 00:07:50,540 --> 00:07:55,320 Whatever happened to country songs about whiskey drinking and butt kicking? 93 00:07:55,340 --> 00:07:56,860 Thunder Road. Yeah. 94 00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:59,380 Thank you that much. You come out. 95 00:07:59,950 --> 00:08:00,950 Kicking this guy? 96 00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:02,230 Yeah. 97 00:08:02,910 --> 00:08:04,850 Then this video would be cool. 98 00:08:09,950 --> 00:08:12,490 Whoa. Come on, show it. 99 00:08:13,470 --> 00:08:16,090 It sucks. They never show the good stuff. 100 00:08:17,150 --> 00:08:18,510 I hate sitcom. 101 00:08:23,150 --> 00:08:26,850 And so it is with utmost regret. 102 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:31,720 That I must report that our baby was stolen by gypsies in the night. 103 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:33,679 Yeah. 104 00:08:34,059 --> 00:08:35,100 Sorry about that. 105 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:42,059 And it is with equal regret that I must report that you boys both fail. Not only 106 00:08:42,059 --> 00:08:47,120 fail, but fail more miserably than any student I have ever had the misfortune 107 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:48,120 teach. 108 00:08:53,220 --> 00:08:56,420 What the hell? 109 00:08:56,990 --> 00:08:58,270 It was fine this morning. 110 00:08:58,690 --> 00:09:00,450 Damn catalytic converter. 111 00:09:01,470 --> 00:09:03,490 What is your major malfunction? 112 00:09:03,950 --> 00:09:05,450 Why are you sputtering? 113 00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:09,810 What's that noise? 114 00:09:16,950 --> 00:09:20,350 This is the first day of... 115 00:09:24,650 --> 00:09:26,530 Isn't it like that movie Beyond Superdome? 116 00:09:27,410 --> 00:09:28,410 Yeah. 117 00:09:28,870 --> 00:09:30,210 That was cool. 118 00:09:34,230 --> 00:09:37,530 How come all these videos have cages in them? 119 00:09:38,510 --> 00:09:39,750 Because they're cool. 120 00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:50,230 This is like a zoo where they 121 00:09:50,230 --> 00:09:51,230 keep cool people. 122 00:09:52,350 --> 00:09:53,350 Yeah. 123 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:07,480 Hey, Beavis, do you have a nine -inch nail? 124 00:10:11,160 --> 00:10:11,900 This is 125 00:10:11,900 --> 00:10:25,060 pretty 126 00:10:25,060 --> 00:10:26,060 cool. 127 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:29,720 Yeah, nails are cool. 128 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:38,220 It's like I'm pulling a rope.